Looking back I should have know It wasn’t your age but you hadn’t grown Into the woman you would come to be Emerging from the darkness unwillingly You kept your secrets and you planned a day When all of our world would cease to be Torn apart and thrown away With conviction yet carelessly What was left behind can’t be recognized Through the tears that have long left these eyes Worst of all is the written and spoken lies That one day will be uncovered, analyzed But what about today? Will they ever heal? Hearing your mantra of truthful denial So easily dismissed the oath before God Have all your dreams now come true? All that you sought? The pages of life continue to turn When you look in the mirror does it burn? With the knowledge of all you have done and said Hurting the innocent leaving them scarred Do you pray that time will take me away? That I will cease to be, in a box to decay Then you’ll be the victim and your lies fulfilled My silence ensured…your webs finally killed May God have mercy and hear my prayers For nothing else matters but to truly care For those who I love and miss everyday Kept apart I pray…temporarily As I cherish them truly each day since their birth Nothing means more, nothing on earth They will know that I love them so In their true hearts…into their soul For truth has a ring that one only has to hear True love has the power to sustain…and to heal For it took both to bring them to life And it takes both now… no longer husband and wife I pray you’ll find your way to do what’s right To cease all the drama, put a stop to the fight I was wrong in so many ways My God I’ve paid a price each second of everyday Maybe one day you’ll stop being blind To the pains they suffer today, and in time I never would have allowed the tables to be turned For you are deserving, even after you burned The one who was lost by sickness and depression That could never be cured by dishonorable sessions I write these words knowing I truly loved But love wasn’t enough; I’ve learned…I’ve heard Mistakes I’ve made I’ll never make again For this is now, and that was then The steps I’ve taken to improve and to better Are evident in my heart, and that’s what truly matters And to those I’ve loved and longed for each day I pray for the opportunity to make the hurt…go away I don’t regret falling in love and all those years Spent by your side, sharing hopes – dreams – and fears But that time has gone and to what will take its place? For me it will be to love them…and to see their face Not just in pictures or through space or walls Built up internally, in the mind, or in laws But to do for them what needs to be done For them to be happy and loved by; Father to daughter…Father to son Whatever you were, whatever you are, whatever you’ll be I will always wish you well and hold specific memory Wherever my children go, whatever they do I will love them, pray for them, not taking from you Maybe one day you’ll realize that no one can take my place For they are ours by blood, my name and my face The time draws near when decisions are to be made That will determine the path, determine their fate No matter what happens, or what happened in the past My love will never leave them, it will…ever last Why does it have to be this way? Who’s to know, who’s to say? If it was up to me after true reflection and care The answer is simple…the answer is to share For without one they are missing the other They shouldn’t have to choose between their Father and Mother There is room in their hearts and lives for both I will do what’s right…I give them my oath To focus on their healing, to love and support Through all of the madness this is what I’ve sought I ask you now to stop, to give them time to recover Your last name is irrelevant for you are their Mother And if you can’t see what is right and what should be Then you are too blind and you’ll never see Please take their hand and show them the way To truly forgive, to start to heal, beginning today For tomorrow is uncertain and it will always be For they are what is important, not I…not we
Why does it have to be this way?